An excerpt from the blog of father and failed singer-songwriter, Mr. Arizona, who has been trying in vain to launch a career in the shadow of his famous kids, the Arizona sisters:
"...I've been watching the news more recently. (Because those network bureaucrats cancelled "My Name Is Earl"! Join my Myspace group to help bring it back!!) And what is with celebrities dropping dead? One of my three talented daughters, Stacy, (who, as you know, is also a telephone psychic) has suggested that God is sick of our stars, and is planning to scrap the whole notion of fame and the famous and start over. Like the flood. Again, she's a gifted, gifted kid, but I can't be sure whether she was joking. In the event that she's serious, consider this an endtime prophecy. Stacy really is a special kid. But regardless, I've noticed that dead celebrities are getting a lot of attention. People latch onto this whole tragedy thing. It's no secret that dead people are better musicians than they ever were alive! So I'm wondering if that might be the sort of career push I need: 'Yeah, you might remember those three kid pop stars, but of course you remember their father died tragically, a really horrible death! Such a talented, talented, but ill-fated man.'..."
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A suggestion, straight from the ghost of Michael Jackson: get the girls to grab each other by the ankles and suspend them out your hotel window, threatening to jump if you don't get airplay (but call the networks first.)
ReplyDeleteGood luck, singing father. Like the concrete pavement says: it's a cold, hard world and they trample you every chance they get.
And I was worried people would be offended...
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